This Hipster Historian’s Opinion on July 4th and America’s Obsession with It

Ok so…July 4th is always called the Birthday of our Country in America…as a woman who majored in early American history I beg to differ.

We will keep with the birthday analogy for the sake of the argument.

First of all…the Continental Congress voted on separation and freedom from England on July 2nd. It was on July 4th (which is why the document is dated July 4th) that the final version of the wording was agreed upon in Congress. If John Adams were alive today (after FREAKING OUT) he would tell you that independence day was yesterday. Most of the signers did not sign until August of 1776 but the Declaration was read to the public in Independence Square on July 8 of ’76.   We shall name the Continental Congress meeting in 1774 the sexual consent if you will. Ok…and…we will call the unanimous vote on July 2 the pregnancy test and YAY it’s positive! The colonies are pregnant with a country! We will call July 8 the announcement to the general public, the family if you will. Friends in the colonies take it fairly well…while the parents in England are a bit upset about the whole ordeal. Though it’s a bit early in the pregnancy to be telling people, the colonies of America have said to the world “We are pregnant with a country that we hope will be free from England!”

It’s a rough pregnancy, tarring and feathering (It’s almost like I watched the John Adams tv show), and nasty correspondence back and forth with the mother country telling this teenager that she’s too rebellious and young to have a country of her own! (And in all fairness, the Articles of Confederation were the early American history equivalent of Teen Mom).

Finally…after a Massacre in Boston,  some beat downs by the British and a lot of tea in Boston Harbor…America’s water broke at the battle of Saratoga when the colonies finally began to push out this nation of their own. The colonies pushed (hehe) through Valley Forge with the help of Doctor (ok not really but just go with the analogy) George Washington. When we finally won our infant of a nation, the British weren’t even really in the delivery room. (Cornwallis did not attend the surrender at Yorktown). This will forever be why I don’t think July 4 should really be America’s birthday. October 19, 1781…the day the British surrendered to America should really be the day for that… I’m not going to say that my argument is perfect… far from it as I wrote this post rather quickly and the dates of some events through a bit of a wrench into my story but…my birthday was yesterday…that day I was actually born and breathing in the world…not the day that my mom took a pregnancy test…

If you read the link I’m going to post…the founding fathers almost forgot about the 1 year anniversary of the Declaration…


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